Sunday, July 22, 2012

North Korea speculation rampant in Seoul

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) ? The surprise news set off a predictable wildfire of speculation and rumors south of the border.

Almost as soon as North Korea announced this week that its army chief had been dismissed due to "illness," the aggressive South Korean media went into hyperdrive. By Friday a newspaper, citing "unconfirmed intelligence reports," said Ri Yong Ho may have been wounded or killed in a blaze of gunfire when soldiers loyal to him resisted an armed attempt to detain him.

So which is it ? illness or a gun battle? Perhaps neither. North Korea watchers are skeptical of the illness claim, but even an unnamed government official cited in the South Korean account said the firefight "has still not been 100 percent confirmed."

This is what happens when insatiably curious journalists in Seoul are starved for information about their tight-lipped, isolated rival to the north.

Many seemingly over-the-top news stories cite anonymous government or intelligence officials, North Korean defectors claiming to have sources in their former homeland or simply murky, unexplained, unnamed "sources." Few explain where they get their information, and many reports turn out to be wrong.

"The less we know about a country, the more rumors we tend to create about it," said Kim Byeong-jo, a North Korea professor at the Korea National Defense University in Seoul. "When curiosity is especially strong, rumors grow more sensational. ... Imagination takes over where facts are scarce and sources are unclear."

North Korea has yet to provide details about Ri's health or his future plans. While many outside North Korea experts say he was likely purged, it is still unclear what actually happened.

The capital, Pyongyang, portrayed a peaceful handover to new military chief Hyon Yong Chol. Soldiers celebrated in the streets with choreographed dances Thursday after the announcement of Hyon's new role and the promotion of young new leader Kim Jong Un to marshal.

North Korean officials have disappeared under chilling circumstances before, but the reports of their fates are often based on murky sources.

Amnesty International, citing "unconfirmed reports," said earlier this year that state security officials had detained more than 200 officials in an effort to consolidate Kim Jong Un's power before he became leader. The rights group cited more "unconfirmed reports" that 30 North Korean officials involved in talks with South Korea were "executed by firing squad or killed in staged traffic accidents."

Many reports end up being false. A prominent example ran as a stand-alone special edition of the conservative South Korean newspaper Chosun Ilbo in 1986.

In what it called a "world exclusive," the paper announced that Kim Il Sung, the current leader's grandfather and the revered founder of the country, was shot to death on a train near the border with South Korea. A day later, Kim was seen greeting a visiting official at Pyongyang's airport; he died in 1994.

In February, rumors that Kim Jong Un was assassinated in a firefight inside the North Korean Embassy in Beijing spread from Chinese websites to Twitter, sparking a frenzy of speculation about an overthrow just weeks after he took power. AP journalists happened to be at the North Korean Embassy in Beijing at the very hour Kim was said to have been killed and saw nothing unusual at the typically quiet compound.

Friday's reports on Ri were as dramatic as they were murky: Chosun Ilbo reported that 20 to 30 soldiers had died in a gunfight when Ri's bodyguards resisted soldiers sent to isolate him. The report quoted a source as saying that the possibility of Ri being wounded or killed in the gunfight couldn't be ruled out.

TV network YTN cited rumors among unnamed defectors about a gunfight.

South Korea's National Intelligence Service told The Associated Press that it has no idea where the newspaper got the information and was working to find details about the claim. The service doesn't talk about how it gets its information.

North Korea's official Korean Central News Agency, in a statement late Friday, didn't address the reports about an alleged gun battle, but it did criticize what it called "ridiculous" and "false" rumors about the country.

It specifically faulted U.S. and South Korean media for spreading "misinformation," including reports about "serious power scrambles within the leadership" in North Korea, speculation that Ri wasn't dismissed because of illness and that the country was shifting away from its "military first" policy.

Separately, the North's Foreign Ministry said in a statement that U.S. hostility was forcing it "to totally re-examine the nuclear issue." It didn't elaborate. Talks on persuading the North to abandon its nuclear weapons program are stalled.

As an example of how news can become cloudy when information is controlled, Kim Byeong-jo, the professor in Seoul, pointed to South Korea itself. In 1980, tens of thousands took to the streets in Gwangju to protest the junta that seized power after authoritarian President Park Chung-hee was assassinated in office.

About 200 people died, but there were rumors of thousands of deaths. Kim said a media blackout meant people outside the southwestern city knew little about the military operations going on against the city's people.

"It takes time for real facts to emerge when information is controlled. In North Korea's case, it takes even longer, and, worse yet, truth may never even surface," he said.

___

Associated Press writer Jean H. Lee contributed to this story.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/north-korea-speculation-rampant-seoul-094324001.html

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Tips on Relocating to Austin ~ Part Six

?

Relocating to Austin Part 6

Before making a decision on what part of Austin?you'd like to live in, it?s important to?research?school districts for your child. ?For some,?selecting the right school district is the most important criteria in determining the community.

?

Part 6: Making an Educated Choice and Stress-free Enrollment

There are steps to selecting the right school for your child. ?Austin MetroGuide has published these 4 steps along with what you?ll need for a stress-free enrollment

1. ???? Make a Wish List
It?s important to be clear on what your child needs from a school before beginning a search. ?Is your child gifted in math or science? ?Consider a magnet program or schools that offer advanced mathematics and science programs. ?Does your child have a passion for the arts? ?Consider a performing arts academy or a school with a strong arts program. ?Does your child have special needs? Consider a school with a strong Special Education dept. and small teacher-student ratio. ?Also consider your family needs. ?If you require child care beyond the school day, look at campuses that offer an after-school program or are located close to quality day care centers. ?What are the transportation options in your new neighborhood and how far would you be willing to travel to school? ?Other factors to consider when making your list could include location, after-school programs, extracurricular offerings, average class size and type of school (private, public, charter or religious). ?After you have compiled your list decide with your family items are imperative and which are secondary. This will be helpful in narrowing down the wide variety of educational options.

2. ???? Check the Web
The internet is a great resource for researching schools especially now that you have a list of must-haves. There is a website that gives each school a rating based on standardized test scores, average class size and teacher experience compared to the state average:

http://www.austinmetroguide.com/schools. ?

Here are links to a few individual NW Austin school district websites:

Round Rock ISD: ?http://www.roundrockisd.org ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? Leander ISD: ?http://www.leanderisd.org????????????????????????????????????? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ??????? Austin ISD: ?http://www.austinisd.org

3. ???? Call Ahead
After you?ve made your wish list and narrowed your search on the web, you most likely have a list of 5-10 schools. ?Start calling the individual campuses and ask to speak with a grade-level counselor or principal. ?You can tell a lot about the welcoming culture of a campus in the first 10 seconds of the phone call. ?Be sure to have your wish list handy when you are speaking with faculty or staff. ?Remember to ask when would be the best time to visit the campus in person and if it would be possible to sit in on a class.

4. ???? Visit the Campus
Your Realtor? should be able to provide you with a list of campuses in the area. If a picture is worth 1,000 words, then a campus visit is worth 1,000 websites. Visiting a school in person is an invaluable way to determine the best school for your family. ?Don?t be shy ? ask for a tour, ask to see a classroom on a typical school day, ask to drop by the cafeteria at lunch. Notice if there is adequate supervision in the hallways and in the lunchroom. ?Observe how adults handle misbehavior and take note of the number of positive and negative interactions between adults and students. Once you have found the perfect school for your child, remember to ask how you can be involved on campus through volunteering or PTA.

How to have a Stress-Free Enrollment:

Be clear on the paperwork required to enroll your child at his/her new school. The following information is for new students to Round Rock ISD, other districts may have different paperwork requirements. ?Please check the district websites or call ahead.

All Students new to Round Rock ISD should provide the following information at the time of registration:

1. ???? Birth certificate
2. ???? Immunizations record (immunization requirements)
3. ???? Proof of residence in the school district

?- Lease agreement, if renting

?- contract of sale or a tax statement, if purchasing

?- current utility bill indicating the address and the adult?s name

4.??? Last report card or withdrawal form from previous school district
5.??? Social Security number

I offer years of experience helping families relocate to the NW Austin area. If you haven?t chosen a Realtor?, I would love the opportunity to earn your business and exceed ?your expectations.
?
Previous Tips:

Part 5: Title Insurance
Part 4: Homestead Exemption
Part 3: Community Property
Part 2: Home Warranty
Part 1: Moving Checklist

I offer years of experience helping families relocate to the NW Austin area. If you haven?t chosen a Realtor?, I would love the opportunity to earn your business and exceed your expectations.

Search for homes in NW Austin

?WE ARE ALWAYS HERE TO ASSIST YOU!?no matter where you are, we are just a click away

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21 Comments on Tips on Relocating to Austin ~ Part Six

?

Dorie Dillard Realtor? Canyon Creek NW Austin TX homes for sale

Austin, TX

More about me?

Coldwell Banker United Realtors

Address: 9442 N. Capital TX Highway, Plaza Two Suite 150, Austin, TX, 78759

Office Phone: (512) 346-1799

Email Me

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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Opinion. Klout Scores: How To Understand & Measure Your Social ...

Posted by?Jimmy Hovey?on?power4consulting.com

What Are Klout Scores Anyway?

klout score jimmy hovey

Klout Scores?are the measurement of a person or business? overall influence online. A Klout score can range anywhere between 1-100, with 100 being the highest score possible. ?The?average Klout score is around 20 and a score of 50+ puts?you in the 95th percentile.

In the scoring process, Klout measures the influence rating based on an ability to cause others to take action on social networks. There are three factors involved with your business? score.

They are: True Reach, Amplification and Network Impact.

True Reach

True Reach is a number that tells you exactly how many people you?re influencing. This number doesn?t include bots or spam. It focuses directly on the amount of people who are actually taking action with your content.

When you post in your social network, these are the people who tend to respond to them. It also includes those that tend to share your content online.

Amplification

Your Amplification represents the amount of influence you have over the people in your network. It measures the actual amount of people that respond to the messages you post.

It also measures the actual amount of people that share them. This measurement includes people that take any kind of action to help spread your post further.

Your Amplification score increases when people act on your content often.

Network Impact

Your Network Impact is an indication of influence you have over people within your True Reach. It?s a measurement of how often top social networking influencer?s respond to and share your content.

By getting your content shared by top influncers, you increase your Network Impact score.

How to Increase Your Klout Score

Many businesses have started to become concerned with their Klout Scores. It?s a way of measuring just how much ?clout? they have in the online world.

So, how can you increase your business? Klout score?

Here are three great tips to help:

1. Be unique and create great content.

Don?t worry about making posts a certain amount of times per day or on certain topics. There?s no special formula to follow to build businesses? Klout Scores.

It?s important that people relate to your posts. Things should emerge from them.

Delightful posts such as funny customer stories or introducing a new employee have a greater chance of being shared.

2. Pictures are the best story tellers.

Your business should be posting interesting pictures. Instead of adding plain captions describing them, use funny alternatives.

Find entertaining words to bring attention to those company picnic photos. Create humorous captions describing ways to?not?use your product.

Making people laugh at business pictures is a great way to increase Klout Scores because you are engaging your community in a unique way via likes, re-tweets and G+

3. Help people in your networks solve their problems.

Helping your potential clients and customers solve a problem is the basis behind online content. Well, this idea should be the influence behind your business social networking as well.

When people post questions for you, make sure you answer them. When you?re browsing your timelines and see a question you have the answer to, respond to it.

Start a weekly ?Ask Me Anything? session on your Facebook page. This will help produce dialogues on many different intriguing subjects.

Even if they?re not related to your business, they will still help to build your online popularity, which helps to increase Klout Scores.

What?s My Klout Score?

Well, I took this shot right from the Klout.com website. ?A score of 51 means I am in the top 95 percentile. ?I am not bragging at al (ok, maybe just a little?..)just showing you how your Klout profile looks.

How did I get there? ?I never set out on this journey of Internet marketing to improve my Klout score. For the past 2 years I have authored over 200 blogs, participated regularly in 4 social media networks and have developed over 1200 pages of Google indexed pages. ?I create a lot of content!

Does It Really Matter?

You have to use your own judgment. ?I have to admit that it has been good to see it rise to where it is now.

I have been seeing the score more and more over the past several months.

When I first saw it, I thought it really didn?t mean much. But as social media becomes more and more important, I think Klout score will become much more relevant in the future especially for those who want to get hired into social media positions.

Who would you hire?..A candidate with a score of 20 or a candidate with a score of 51?

Not Sure Where To Begin With Your Klout Score

Like I mentioned above, when I started developing websites, I just wanted to learn how to market my businesses online and generate leads and sales. ?That should be your focus, not necessarily a score.

But tracking your score is another way to measure your effectiveness or even the effectiveness of someone you might hire to help you do your social media work.

While we cannot directly impact your Klout score, we can help you to begin building the the right content on your website to begin engaging with your community of potential customers.

Engagement and 2 way participation are critical to begin building and influencing your?Klout scores. ??This includes a Internet marketing strategy, content development, social media promotion, lead nurturing and social media analytics.

SOURCE:?power4consulting.com

Source: http://www.snid.eu/2012/07/opinion-klout-scores-how-to-understand-measure-your-social-media-influence/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=opinion-klout-scores-how-to-understand-measure-your-social-media-influence

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12 killed at Colo. screening of new Batman movie

The Colorado gunman carried two pistols, a rifle and a shotgun into the midnight showing of "The Dark Knight Rises." NBC News' Pete Williams reports.

By Pete Williams and M. Alex Johnson, NBC News

Updated at 5:45 p.m. ET: A graduate student with dyed red or orange hair who told police he was the Joker opened fire in a theater showing the premiere of the latest Batman movie near Denver early Friday, killing 12 people and wounding 59 others, many of them seriously, a law enforcement official told NBC News.?

University of Colorado

James Holmes, identified as the suspect in the Colorado shootings, in a photo from the University of Colorado.

The official, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed reports that the suspect, identified as James Eagan Holmes, 24, told police in Aurora, Colo., that he was the Joker, a reference to one of the most prominent villains in the Batman canon.

The source told NBC News that the suspect had dyed his hair red or orange, which isn't typically associated with the green-haired Joker character.?The character also doesn't appear in the newest movie, "The Dark Knight Rises," one of the most eagerly awaited films of the year.

Holmes also told police that his apartment had been booby-trapped. When investigators arrived, they peered in through a window from a hook-and-ladder truck and discovered numerous bottles containing an unknown liquid, fire officials said. The bottles were connected to wires.

"It's nothing I've ever seen before," said Aurora Police Chief Dan Oates, who said the area was evacuated and that police were expected to remain on the scene "for hours or days."

Authorities still hadn't entered the apartment late Friday afternoon. They were examining photographs of the scene to figure out how to deal with the materials.?


Holmes, a graduate student from San Diego who was in the process of withdrawing from the neuroscience program at University of Colorado-Denver medical school, put up no resistance when he was arrested in a parking lot at the theater, police said. He retained legal counsel and wasn't answering investigators' questions, police said.

Witnesses describe what they saw at the theater in Aurora, Colo.

"We are confident he acted alone," Oates said of Holmes, who was scheduled to appear in court Monday morning to face unspecified charges. Authorities refused to speculate on his possible motive.

The victims, who were being treated in six hospitals, included a 6-year-old child. A 4-month-old baby also was treated and released. The oldest reported patient was 45.

One of those killed was Jessica Ghawi, a sportswriter who survived a June 2 mass shooting?at a mall in Toronto in which two people were killed and seven others were injured. Ghawi?blogged under the name Jessica Redfield.

Defense officials told NBC News that a sailor at?Buckley Air Force Base in Aurora was missing and presumed to have been killed. A second sailor and?two airmen from Buckley were also shot. Their identities and conditions weren't available.?

Authorities said the gunman appeared at the front of the theater at 12:39 a.m., about 20 minutes into the film, and released two canisters of gas. Witnesses told reporters that the gunfire erupted during a shootout scene. Authorities responded within a minute and a half, Oates said.

'Mass chaors'
"It was mass chaos," witness Jennifer Seeger told TODAY. The gunman shot the ceiling and then "he threw in the gas can, and then I knew it was real."

Witnesses said the gunman entered the?Century 16 Movie Theaters at Aurora Town Center?through an emergency exit door.?But a federal law enforcement official told The Associated Press that the suspect bought a ticket and went in as part of the crowd. He is believed to have propped open an exit door as the movie was playing, the official said.

Watch live video from KUSA

Aurora is a suburb less than 10 miles east of downtown Denver and just 15 miles northeast of Littleton, scene what had been the?worst mass shooting in Colorado: the Columbine High School massacre on April 20, 1999, when two gunmen killed 12 fellow students and a teacher and wounded 26 other people before killing themselves.

Tune in Friday night to NBC News to watch a "Dateline NBC" special on the shootings in Colorado. Ann Curry will report live from Aurora at 9 p.m. ET.

The suspect was found in possession of a helmet, a gas mask, a tactical vest, throat and groin protectors and black tactical gloves, authorities said.?

Oates said the gunman had four weapons: two 40-caliber Glock handguns, a Remington 870 single-barrel pump shotgun and a Smith & Wesson AR-15 assault-style rifle.?Three of the weapons were found in the suspect's white Hyundai parked at the back entrance to the theater; one of the handguns was found in the theater.

Law enforcement officials told NBC News that the weapons were legally bought from local stores of two national chains ? Gander Mountain Guns and Bass Pro Shop ? beginning in May.

Former FBI profiler Clint Van Zandt tells Daily Rundown's Chuck Todd "this was a pre-planned event."

Oates didn't say what kind of magazines were used, but he said "many, many rounds were fired."?Some rounds penetrated an adjoining theater and injured at least one person, he said.

Police name alleged gunman in Colorado theater shooting

James Yacone, the FBI's agent in charge in Denver, said there was no early indication of a link to terrorism. Holmes wasn't on any federal law enforcement watch lists, authorities told NBC News, and Oates said he had no police record beyond a speeding ticket last year.

In his apartment rental application early last year, Holmes described himself as a "quiet and easy-going" student.?A pharmacy student who lives in the building, which is reserved for students, faculty and staff of the medical campus, said he kept to himself.

Experts: Mass killers usually seeking revenge

"No one knew him. No one," the man, who asked to be identified only as "Ben," told The Denver Post.

The University of California-Riverside confirmed that a man named James Holmes graduated from the university with a degree in neuroscience in 2010. His last known address was in San Diego, it said.

The Poway United School District told NBC News that Holmes attended Westview High School in San Diego, graduating in 2006.

'Pain and grief ... too intense for words'
Gov. John Hickenlooper said at a news conference that "our hearts are broken as we think of the friends and family of the victims of this senseless tragedy." He called the shootings "the act of an apparently very deranged mind."

"The pain and grief (are) too intense for words, but we can't let it keep us from our lives," Hickenlooper said. "We are going to come back stronger from this, but it is obviously going to be a very long process."

President Barack Obama cut short a campaign visit to Florida to return to Washington ahead of schedule.

He called for reflection after the attack. "There are going to be other days for politics," Obama said during an abbreviated appearance in Fort Myers, where he led a moment of silence on behalf of the victims and their families.

More on this story from breakingnews.com

At a campaign appearance in Bow, N.H., Republican presidential challenger Mitt Romney said: "Today is to remember and reach out and remember our blessings in life. Each of us will hold family close and spend a little less time thinking about worries of day and helping those in need of compassion."

'We need to go'
Moviegoers described scenes of chaos and terror inside the movie theater.

Tanner Coon, 17, describes seeing flashes of gunfire, which he thought were fireworks, amid the chaos of trying to escape the shooting as he was "trying to calm" his friend's 12-year-old brother.

Tanner Coon, who was in the theater with a friend and the friend's 12-year-old brother when the shooter came in, said he told them to "get down" when he heard the gunshots.

The shooter fired off about 20 rounds and there was then a pause and a "period of quietness when everybody started running out," Coon said.

"I slipped on some blood and landed on a lady. I shook her and said, 'We need to go.' There was no response, so I presume she was dead," Coon said.

At least three people had been treated for chemical exposure, KUSA reported.

Colorado shooting survivor: 'He pointed the gun right at me'

PhotoBlog: More images from the scene of the shooting in Aurora

Further local coverage from KUSA

Paris premiere canceled
Reviewers of "The Dark Knight Rises," the third installment of the Batman franchise, have noted its dark, anxiety-fueled themes, which reminded some of the atmosphere in the days after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001. It had been one of the most eagerly awaited films of the year, and theaters around the world began showing it at 12:01 a.m. Friday.

Warner Bros. canceled the Paris premiere, which was scheduled for Friday evening.

"Warner Bros. and the filmmakers are deeply saddened to learn about this shocking incident. We extend our sincere sympathies to the families and loved ones of the victims at this tragic time," it said in a statement.

Chris Dodd, chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America, said in a statement:

"We share the shock and sadness of everyone in the motion picture community at the news of this terrible event. We extend our prayers and deepest sympathies to the victims, their loved ones and all those affected by this tragedy."

F. Brinley Bruton, Kristen Dahlgren,?Jay Gray, Charles Greene, Garrett Haake, Ian Johnston,?Zoya Khan,?Jim Miklaszewski, Daniel Strieff, Shawna Thomas,?David Wyllie?and Edgar Zuniga?of NBC News and NBC stations KUSA of Denver and KNSD of San Diego contributed to this report.

Related content from NBCNews.com:

Follow US News from NBCNews.com on Twitter and Facebook

Source: http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/20/12850048-14-shot-dead-at-dark-knight-rises-screening-in-aurora-colorado?lite

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Mars vs. Venus: Can Long-Distance Relationships Work ...

This is a Mars vs. Venus entry, meaning I?m going to share my male perspective, and then at the end of the entry you can click over to my blogger friend Katy?s blog for the female perspective on long-distance relationships. I?m qualified to give the male perspective because I?ve been in a number of long-distance relationships as well as short-distance relationships. And because I?m a man.

Long-distance relationships are not healthy relationships.

That is not to say that they can?t succeed, if you measure success by the metric of ?can you survive the time you?re apart to someday be together again.?

You can see those success rates for the four types of long-distance relationships on the chart below.

Technically, any of these can succeed. Those in which you start dating in the same city have a greater rate of success, as you get to know a person?in person?for a while before the distance comes between you. And it helps if there?s an distinct end in sight?say, you know you?re going to live in the same city again after she comes back from Italy or he gets out of med school.

But take out any of those factors?or both?and your success rate drops. If you have no foundation in person and there?s no end in sight, you?re going to spend a lot of time, energy, and money on something that most likely won?t work out.

I wanted to get that out of the way because I know people?maybe you?re one of them?who have successfully gotten through long-distance relationships and are happy they endured all the trouble. If you ask these people for advice, they?ll tell you that long-distance is a lot of work, and hopefully they?ll give you some good tips.

Here?s the thing: Relationships are hard enough without factoring in distance. Once you factor in distance, they become outright unhealthy. Here are the ?four key reasons:

  1. Credit: Going the Distance movie, Poster design by P+A / Mojo.

    You?re constantly catching up. When you?re not sharing common experiences, every conversation contains some amount of catching up. Now, this happens in any relationship, but not nearly on this level. What if I told you that from now on, you had to spend 30 minutes of your day recapping your day?experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc?with someone else? Doesn?t that make you cringe? I?m not saying that every long-distance relationship is like that, but because you?re not sharing common experiences, a decent amount of catching up is inevitable.

  2. You?re missing out on real life. I?ve been involved in 4 or 5 long-distance relationships, and in each one, I spend all this time on the phone or on e-mail instead of actually living life. The two of you are literally taking a break from real life to catch up and get to know one another. Usually you?re so caught up in each other that you can?t see it until you take a step back and realize everything you?ve missed.
  3. When you?re together, it?s unnaturally intense. Imagine if I told you that after four dates with a girl or guy, you needed to spend every minute of a 3-day weekend with her/him. 72 hours straight. That?s crazy talk, right? That?s not natural. That?s not healthy.
  4. You don?t get to know the person for whom they really are. When I?m dating someone, I want to see how she interacts in all sorts of situations. What is she like when she goes to the grocery store? What is she like in the morning? At night? With friends? With friends she doesn?t even like? When she?s had too much to drink or too little to eat. I want to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. In long-distance relationships, you mostly just get the good. You?re getting little snapshots of the person?s life, not a feature-length movie. It?s really not an accurate portrayal of who the person is.

Note that sex isn?t on that list. I think that fostering chemistry is a really important part of a relationship, but I actually think that can work in a long-distance relationship. Absence makes the heart grow hornier.

So what do you do if you?re about to embark on a long-distance relationship? Or maybe you?re already in one? I?d say call it quits. There are plenty of fish in the sea. (That?s my single male perspective.)

But of course you?re not going to do that. We all have that glimmer of hope that we?ve found that special someone and we?re going to fight through the distance. So if you do it anyway, here are five pieces of advice to follow:

  1. Credit: Like Crazy movie

    Don?t talk every day. Be intentional about this, and be consistent. Not only is it unhealthy to try to talk every day for an hour or so, but it?s unsustainable, and when you realize it?s unsustainable and try to change it, you?ll give her/him the impression that something is wrong. So from the very beginning, establish ground rules about communication. Talk on the phone for 30-45 minutes a day, 4 days a week. Pick the days. Keep those boundaries. If you really care about the other person, give them the freedom to continue living their life.

  2. When you do talk, make that the only thing you?re doing at that moment. Seriously. This is really important. Don?t half-ass your conversations just because the person isn?t there to see you. Don?t be playing solitaire or surfing the web or cleaning the kitchen. You know how annoying it is when you call someone and they?re distracted by five other things. It makes you feel really unimportant, doesn?t it? Don?t do that to someone you care about. Videochats can help. It?s tough not to give someone your undivided attention on videochats.
  3. Talk more about what you?think?than what you?do.?If you follow this, you have a shot at avoiding the feeling that you?re always catching up. Thoughts and ideas are things you can share together, no matter the distance. Let the person see what you do when they?re actually there with you in person.
  4. Don?t talk about the relationship. Okay, maybe spend 5% of the time talking about the relationship. Like, the bare minimum, whatever that is. But don?t spend every conversation talking about how much you miss the person and how you can?t wait to see them and what you?ll do when you finally see them and when you?re finally going to live in the same place again. That crap will kill. The. Relationship. I know this for a fact. Once you start spending all your time on the relationship (and really, this applies to any type of relationship), you start to lose sight of all the other ways you connect with the person, all those amazing conversations you had before there was a relationship to talk about.
  5. Make sure you don?t use your girlfriend/boyfriend as your therapist. When you get in the habit of talking to someone on a regular basis, it?s human nature to use them as a sounding board for everything in your life. But you have to be careful about this. Because it?s so easy to share every problem you?re having with your significant other, you might stop spreading those aspects of your life around to your other friends as well. It becomes a burden. There?s a difference between being honest, open, and vulnerable and flat-out using someone else. Don?t use people. Especially not the ones you care about most.

Katy and I said we?d list both pros and cons to long-distance relationships, and I?ve pretty much only written cons. The pro is that it might not suck as much as I?ve predicted it will, and maybe you?ll get past it and end up with someone you truly love.

But I highly doubt it. :)

I haven?t read Katy?s take yet, but I?m eager to see her female perspective. Click over to check it out here. And if you?d like to check out our previous Mars vs. Venus entry on flirtation, click here.

What would you add to what I said above? How many long distance relationships have you been in that have failed or succeed? Did they feel healthy to you at the time?

Source: http://jameystegmaier.com/2012/07/mars-vs-venus-can-long-distance-relationships-work/

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